Hello there!

Hi guys,

It’s been a long time since I’ve graced the keyboard with my fingers. So many things have happened in my life over the past six months that I haven’t really had time to update this little (not so) secret corner of mine. Sometimes I quail to think of how many people have access to my personal thoughts and the intricacies of my daily life; it certainly is a bit of a nerve-racking experience sitting behind my keyboard pouring out my heart into the internet.  Nevertheless,

Picture of the day:

This was taken after I came back from work today; it was a long day working near the city centre followed by volunteering at a local youth charity. The kids loved my uniform; they thought I worked for the police but I very quickly corrected them. So here I am sat in front of the pc, alternating between typing out my thesis, typing this out and listening to movie soundtracks by John Powell (has anyone realized that the OST for “Paycheck” really brings out the mood in you?”.

However, as much as I would like to proclaim that all is well and that I’m having a really carefree time in Norwich, I can’t. There are extenuating problems with my visa and I’m not sure whether I’ll be able to stay in this country for long. Basically, the university issued me a wrong Certificate of Acceptance of Studies (CAS; bit of a mouthful) letter, stating that my course would end on the 1^st of September; the correct date is on the 30^th of the month. This meant that the UK Border Agency (UKBA) issued me a visa which ends on the 1^st of November. At first, I thought this would not be a problem. However, I found out not too long ago that my results would come out on the 15^th of November: a full two weeks after my visa is due to expire. This means that I will not be able to apply for my Post-Study Work (PSW) visa because I need my results to affect the process. So… here I’m placed in a situation where I’ve been doubly screwed by the university AND the UKBA. I guess the most frustrating thing about this whole situation is that no one can help me sort this problem out; the university cannot reissue a CAS and the UKBA can only work with the (incorrect) information that they have been given. They will not change their ruling for a small-fry immigrant like me. There have been a couple of instances when I’ve felt like just giving up and going home. Even asylum-seekers and chavs get better treatment than the aspiring foreign-skilled worker.

However, it has become clear to me that I must not throw in the towel. Over the past year, I’ve been very involved in the youth sector, volunteering with a mentorship program for asylum-seekers and taking part in the youth section in my local church. It seems slightly bizarre for this to happen, but instead of me becoming really close to my mentee who I parted ways with after the six-month program, I’ve become almost inseparable from one of the youth in church. Very strange. I never thought that someone else let alone a child (a very intelligent one though…) would share exactly the same interests as me, and be as witty as Michael McIntyre on a good day. Okay, maybe not that last part about Michael McIntyre, but enough of the sop for now. I think the main thing that’s compelling me to remain in Norwich is the pleasure of seeing this child develop into the great person that he truly is inside. He takes on a timid demeanor when meeting strangers, and often hangs about in the background, but when people who understand him (friends/family) engage in conversation, his eyes light up and suddenly you see a different person. Thomas Maxwell, if you’re reading this, you know EXACTLY who I’m talking about as he’s your twin. I’ve been trying really hard to bring out this character in him by taking the initiative to organize university lecture sit-ins and attempting to invite him to events that would really boost his communicative and social skills, but nothing seems to be working at the moment. He is really such a wonderful person and I see him really going far in life in both education and profession. I will never give up though; if you’ve met me in person I’m sure you can testify as to my determination and steadfast focus on an objective. I’m sure one day he’ll come round to discussing things other than just computer games and funny but obscure videos on YouTube. I just hope that he finds out what he wants to do soonish because I can’t guarantee that I’ll be able to stay for long. I sure hope I made a difference in his life though.

To be honest, I’m scared. I’m scared that I won’t be able to continue to enjoy the life that I’ve gotten used to in this country.  I’m terrified that all of this will end and I’ll go back to my mundane life in Malaysia. Don’t get me wrong; I love my country and all my people. But it’s different in my case. I don’t think I could ever settle down with an Asian-cultured girl. Years spent in the international school system have geared me toward the European/British way of living and I don’t think I ever could be happy anywhere else. What I’m most afraid of is leaving everyone I’ve ever made important in my life here, and retiring to my old life back in Malaysia. I’m afraid that I won’t be able to pay my brother’s medical school fees, and that all these years of education are going to be wasted on me if I can’t get a job.  I’m absolutely petrified. But I know that in spite of my uncertainties, there are other people that are depending on me and that there are other things that must take priority over this. I will do my very best not to disappoint, and hope that you will trust and believe in me.

I was trawling Facebook (as usual), and discovered that Katelyn had gotten engaged to her high-school sweetheart, Eric! Unfortunately I found out a few hours slightly too late and missed out on being one of the first people to congratulate her. I’m really happy that such a close friend of mine has discovered true happiness and her perfect partner, and while I don’t think I’ll realistically be able to make it to the wedding, I’ll definitely send a gift to take my place! It’s been such an honour meeting you, Katelyn. I wish you the best in your marriage and your life. We should keep in touch;  you never know, there might be the slight off-chance that I’ll be in California on a random business trip (if I’m that lucky!).

This year has been an interesting year to say the least. I’ve been all the way up in the Prime Minister’s office in Malaysia to all the way down working a gritty nightclub in Norwich. Moving to Norfolk after spending three years in Manchester was definitely a choice that I do not regret making. I’ve met so many wonderful people in Norwich; even more so than in Manchester over the period of less than a year, and have made a few more friends for life. You know who I’m talking about don’t you, Raj, Aneel, Harbi, Tom and Katelyn?

But anyway, the time has come for me to sign off and try to get some rest; the whole day tomorrow will be spent volunteering. I don’t even think I’ll have time to work on my thesis. It’s nearly complete… just need to add the conclusion and references as well as a table of contents. I’ll be sending drafts to selected people to read over the next few weeks. Btw, my word count is exactly 1337!